It is not a 'couples' holiday [cough]; when the year changes we think that we can start over, start fresh. We leave bad habits and bad people, we are hopeful for future opportunities, we are despondent for what we will never have again (remember 9/02/10). I actually just want to be home. Growing up all I knew was that when New Year's rolled around everyone disappeared. Everyone wanted to ring in the New Year with the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with, but not me. I just wanted to survive the cross over and know that I still had myself. I consider the past and the things I have done. What I can do better; how I can grow; how I can change; how I will still be the same person I have always been. How do I do it? I sit at home and let the world change around me, I change in my own way. When I am good and ready. When writing the date I will more than likely still write down 2011 but that should change by February. So tonight while I sit in my room I'll be eating marshmallows, my Island version of Vietnamese beef Pho, and watching bad-but-oh-so-good movies (see: Red Riding Hood [2011]).
Just had a discussion with my mother about life and she said what she has always said: Why live your life for someone else when you came into this world alone.
But that's the thing isn't it, I didn't come into the world alone. I had a companion from the start. So am I supposed to be able to stand a relationship? Am I supposed to change like this? Can I.
